The disappointments of Dating as a Black Woman

Its a shame that in 2020 we are still at this point. I am tired of Black women having conversations like this. We are desirable and its time that we appreciate ourselves and date men who love us instead of chasing men who are clearly not interested in dating black women. In my book, the chapter HoneyBrowne is about realizing all the beauty in black women.

Black Women not viewed as Beautiful yet Again

Ari Lennox is absolutely correct, why are people so comfortable tearing down black women but not women from other races? My chapter entitled "HoneyBrowne" is dedicated to uplifting black women and seeing the vibrant spectrum of beauty of us. It's sad that in this day and age that the standard of beauty remains Eurocentric and that notion has spilled over into the African-American community. We get enough criticism from society and the media, we shouldn't be doing that to each other. Here's an excerpt from my chapter, "HoneyBrowne"  On a personal note, when the public tears down black men, black women always come to defend them, but sadly we don't see that reciprocated when the roles are reversed.  As a black man, journalist, K Austin Collins, should be ashamed of disrespecting black women. I'm sure we wouldn't want someone saying these things about his mother or sister.

Patrick Patterson's Ridiculous Bulldog comment about Black Women

Ok, setting aside the fact that the moderator of this particular you tube video is also a black male married to a non-black woman. Patrick Patterson was out of line calling black women bulldogs. Its time for black women to move on and be treated like the queens and princesses  that we are. This is a man who obviously has chosen against black women rather than choosing someone he is compatible with. He’s probably the type of black man who refuses to date black women because he has issues with us, but that’s vastly different than someone approaching dating to find compatibility rather than go out of their way to date something other than his own culture.For example: had he said this is someone who is a great match for me then I don’t think he would be facing the backlash and controversy. It’s sad that there are some black men who approach dating this way, in fact according to the Bureau of Statistics, black men actually engage in interracial dating more than 3 times as much as black women and this is not the first time that I have heard black men say they are approaching dating this way. I have chosen to be loved and appreciated. In my book, there’s a chapter, HoneyBrowne, this chapter is about the appreciation of black women. “HoneyBrowne is super-sweet, smooth, upscale, but not condescending. She walks with grace as she glides by with a smile on her face, confident in who she is.”

Beautiful Black Women With White Soulmates

This was a joy to watch! Everyone should have a right to love freely. The people who criticize interracial dating are often either not happy in their own relationships or are racist or have biases against other people. Unfortunately as black women we allow notions from the civil rights era to prevent us from viewing interracial relationships in a positive way.Of course black men have been affected from this same past but that has not stopped them from dating white women and other non-black women. In fact black men engage in interracial dating more than 3 times as much as black women. Look it's time for black women to explore all their options in the dating world.

Chris Brown and the Men Who Think We're Ugly (How Black Men Benefit from Colorism)

Chris had no shame when he sang the lyric, "I only want to fuck the black bitches with the nice hair." I'll save the comment about calling black women bitches for another day. Yes, Mr. Chris Brown should be ashamed of himself, but unfortunately colorism is a big problem in the aftrican-american community.  And since black women seem to be the only ones suffering from this problem, especially these days because black men find a way to benefit from these relationships with "other women" for example: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Well the Chris and Kanye's of the world remind me of a character in my book "High Profile".  "High Profile" is secure in how he looks and is more concerned about having a so-called trophy or "snow queen/ice princess" on his arm.The problem with "High Profile" is that the relationships he forms are all about access, and what he can get out of being seen or connected with the woman that he is dating. I agree with the YouTuber, "do not stress yourself out about the people, who don't want you. In 2019, we're not stressing out about these raggedy men". She is absolutely right, because they are raggedy if they cannot recognize the beauty in black women.

Black Women Share Their Challenges with Dating Black Men | Black Women OWN the Conversation | OWN

Sad to say this has been said many times before. In this discussion one black woman says that she doesn't always feel the love from black men in dating. She went on to say that "I don't feel like they're always checking for us. Another woman stated that within the entertainment industry, they have fetishized exotic-looking women or "mixed" women and that this has somehow spilled over into dating preferences. I wholeheartedly agree with both women and for this reason I think we have to respond to this. In the chapter, "Honeybrowne", I make the point that, Everyone is affected by what is shown in the media in terms of how they feel about beauty. But what is important is how we interpret that information and how it causes us to see ourselves. If we appraise ourselves through the media looking glass, then our beauty is defined by society. It is imperative that we define our own beauty. 

Ask a Black Man: Episode 4 - Marriage

Well this was something to laugh at unfortunately, but I can't say that I'm surprised. It certainly does help explain why we have the low marriage rate in the aa community. Ok, the mentality of the woman is always pressuring a man to get married is one reason why we have a low marriage rate in the aa community. The woman should not be the only one bringing up nuptials. In my book, Why Every Black Woman Should Marry a Jewish Man, the chapter, Toads & Non-Prince Charmings, I explain about mind-set and how it affects the guy in the relationship. His mind-set will not only determine how he conducts himself, but also determines his ultimate goal of dating. Check out my book on Amazon, bit.ly/honeybrownebook, please feel free to comment on my blog bit.ly/honeybrowneblog

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